


Tears, no more

by Spacegirl871224



Category: Given (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Developing Relationship, Heavy Angst, M/M, Overthinking, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:47:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28291128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spacegirl871224/pseuds/Spacegirl871224
Summary: Ueno has established now that Mafuyu likes him back. However, he can't help but feel the opposite.How will he manage his conflicted feelings?What is it about this relationship that doesn't seem right to him?
Relationships: Satou Mafuyu/Uenoyama Ritsuka, Satou Mafuyu/Yoshida Yuuki
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	Tears, no more

“Uenoyama, I like you”

It has been three days since Mafuyu confessed to me. It was so sudden. I knew I liked him; I don’t know when did my feelings starts to bloom but I know I did. However, I couldn’t possibly think that there was a chance for this feeling to be mutual.

Mafuyu isn’t the type of person who’d vocalize their thoughts. He sure talks to himself a lot, randomly nodding at nothing or opening his eyes wide in shock to whatever realization he made at the time. He is very quiet and would answer your questions with specific word or gestures. I can’t seem to expect certain answers from him because he surprises me a lot. I don’t know if I can expect anything from him.

I don’t understand him. I don’t understand him at all.

Sometimes, I wonder what is he thinking about when he zones out while holding his pen? What is he feeling when he reads our group texts? What are his thoughts of the band, of the music we write, of _me_? 

What does he want from me? What does he like about me? What am I to him? What is our relationship? What sort of feelings he carries when I’m with him? What is he feeling when he thinks of _him_? How does he feel when he plays _his_ guitar? Write and sing a song about _him_? It has always been about _him_ , _him, him_ since the moment I knew Mafuyu. Am I just there to fill _his_ space? Does he really like me, the real me, and not the thought of being with me?

I don’t understand him.

My head feels light from overthinking and my chest hurts, for unknown reasons. I’m supposed to be practicing on my guitar, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Mafuyu. This is starting to annoy me. Maybe if I close my eyes for a while, I’ll be able to clear my head. As soon as I rest my head on the bed behind me, my phone buzzes. Out of all the chances of miracles happening, this one had to happen now! I’m not sure if I can call this a miracle but, Mafuyu is calling me and I hesitate whether I want to pick up. How should I answer him? Should I just click and listen, or should I just say “Hi”?

“Ya”

“A- hello. Uh, am I interrupting you?” in a startled voice, Mafuyu answers.

“No, I was just about to practice. What’s up?”

“Can I come over? I want to discuss the lyrics I’m supposed to write. I’m stuck” He sounded as if he was unsure of coming over.

“Sure, just ring when you’re here”

“Okay, bye.”

Just like that, he closes the line without waiting for me to say “bye” back. As if, he is not expecting me to say it. I don’t want to see him, not now when I’m this messy. I can’t concentrate.

Even when he is here, sitting on my bedroom floor right next to me; holding his pencil and pointing at random words he wrote on his note sheet; I can’t concentrate. I can hear his soft voice. I can smell his freshly washed hair and his perfume. I can feel the warmth of his skin when he’s only few centimeters away from touching my body. I can’t concentrate. Lots of questions are formulating in my head but none are exiting my mouth. I look at his long eyelashes, then drop my gaze down to his cheeks, his lips, his jaw then at his neck. He is beautiful and he is quiet. He is looking at me, and I am looking at him. Our eyes meet. I don’t blink, he does, few blinks before asking me if I’m okay.

When I don’t respond, he shifts closer and blinks. I’m sure he can feel how warm my face is when he is this close to me. He places the back of his hand on my forehead and checks my temperature. I move my hand to hold his and bury my face in his palm. Closing my eyes, breathing in his peach scent and feeling his warmth all over my face moves something within me. My chest tightens. I peek through his fingers and notice a slight blush on his cheeks. His big almond eyes looking directly at mine as he caresses my face with his thumb. I didn’t realize I was this disconnected from the real world until I touched him. His voice interrupts my train of thoughts when he asks me if I’m okay, again. I gently kiss his palm and nod yes, then I nod no.

_I’m not okay._

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone <3 
> 
> This is basically my first fanfic to be published ever TT  
> I am very nervous to share, so I made it short (sorry TT) and I want to declare that English is not my first language, or the second so please bear with the grammatical mistakes TT
> 
> How did you like this chapter so far? :o  
> I really want to write more to this, probably 2 more chapters hehe >///<
> 
> Please do let me know what are your thoughts on this work! >.<  
> Every comment, like or whatever you do on this page is appreciated >///<


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